Editing And Rewriting
1- Thesis
My paper is lacking a thesis. I need a clear statement of what my paper will be about and what the main points will use to support the claim. It normally comes as the last sentence of first paragraph and should be a sort of one sentence outline for the paper. It should set up the argument and the major points will use to support that argument.
2- Organization
Good organization starts with a good thesis and right now the paper doesn’t have a thesis. So as I read through it, it’s a bit hard to see how points tie together. You need to make sure that you have a clear thesis to start discussion and then that each paragraph ties directly back to that thesis and supports the claim that you set up there.
Each paragraph should start with a topic sentence that is sort of a mini-thesis for that paragraph. It should make it clear what the topic of that paragraph is and then throughout the paragraph you must stay on the topic that the topic sentence establishes and shows how that paragraph connects back to the thesis statement. An exercise that can help with this is to write down (without looking at your paper, if you can) all of your main points in this paper. Write down some of the supporting ideas under each main point as well. Then look at the order they appear in and re-order them in a way where one point can flow logically in to the next. Then compare this outline that you have created to your paper and see how you might rearrange your paper to better fit it. You might need to elaborate on some points that are not fully explained, you might need to move some points around so that you stay on one idea at a time and your ideas can flow logically in to one another, and you might need to cut out some sections all together if they just don’t fit.
3- Fix the red comments in the paper.
