Complete my paper based on my teacher comments (2,500 words)

Complete my paper based on my teacher comments (2,500 words)

I already did my Annotated Bibliography (about 1,700 words) and below is my teacher comments and I have to complete my paper for:

1) Essay format at least 2,500 words

2) MLA format

3) At least 5 sources.

Thesis:

Rape, abuse of power, and racism are negative vices that should be eliminated from the society today because they result in unfair segregations and psychological problems for victims.

My Teacher Comments:

This is a very interesting and important topic. However, for this paper, I am wondering if your argument is a bit too broad. Maybe consider focusing on one of these topic, or re-wording your thesis. The reason I say this is because, when writing about such controversial topics, it is important to give it adequate attention. In this length of a paper, I am not sure that can be done. Also, your argument as is not yet controversial. This could be because it is not yet specific enough. Maybe focus on an aspect of this issue, like changes in law or legislation.

Finally, another big concern here is that I am not yet seeing how this topic is connected to the themes in the class. This could be because I have not read your paper yet, but remember that this paper must at least partially focus on one of the texts of the class (Snow Crash, Strange Days, or Her). If you could incorporate one of the texts, then it would be fine.